Fickle Mistress

Now that Corey has left the Jacobins, I’ve been thinking about many things, and I have a confession to make: I hate playing rock and roll. There, I said it. My laundry is on the line. This may come as a surprise to nearly everyone except Corey, who has listened to me complain about the transparency of rock for the last year or so. I’m a master of hyperbole, as anyone who knows me will contend, which is to say I make exaggerations to drive a point home. I get a huge kick out of it. So when I say I “hate” playing rock and roll, it really implies that I’m more or less just a little bored. However, I do hate everything that comes with being in a band. The lugging of equipment to and from shows, the five rehearsals a week, the long sound checks, the meet and greet before and after the show, the sweating, cocks-out, lights low, amps up, no vocals, string breaking pandemonium…the dick sound guys, the asshole owners, the retards in the other bands… Kids who play rock music are epically unaware of the world around them, which makes for the most gut wrenching, apoplectic, hemorrhoid-inducing backstage conversations known to man. Then they get on stage and take a cosmological crap that affects the karma of every person in the audience for at least a week, and leaves us haunted by the jagged memories of the pinna-tearing auricle lambasting.

Rock is notorious for its simple-minded, Australopithecine lyrics, which is somewhat understandable. The music tends to precede the lyrics when writing a rock song and it’s easy to get locked into playing the verses for four measures before moving to the chorus (for example), because you set these parameters with the band as a way to come together and understand where the turnaround will be. It’s nearly impossible to convince someone that the verse should be longer to accompany more words after playing it one way for weeks. This leaves the lyricist a small window through which to cram a message. This is why rock lyrics can be so redundant. This I detest, sans hyperbole. I’m a writer first and a musician later. I need lyrics that go beyond just one level of thought.

In light of this, I intend to write a more folk-based album where the lyrics come first and the acoustic guitar steps back to act more as a podium for the message. I explained this to my brother and he nearly shit. He’s not a fan of the idea, and I’m sure many people will share his sentiment. I’m pulling the reverse-Dylan, going from electric to acoustic. The band will surely go on, if we ever find a new drummer, but I’ll let it take its time. So the next time you see me, bring a different set of ears. So stay tuned, as I’m sure I’ll write a new piece in a week or two entitled, “Why I love rock and roll.”